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  • New Member :)

    Hello,
    I'm new here. My boyfriend of 2 years has myomenengocele sb at L3-4. I'm here sort of out of frustration as he is very, very closed off when it comes to his sb and the medical issues involved (we are both in our 30's). I absolutely adore him and wish he was able to open up to me, but he says it's not something he's ever been able to open up to anyone about. I know he struggles with incontinence and is very embarrassed about it, but I've told him that it doesn't bother me at all..in fact, the only reason I ever even notice it, is when he goes out of his way to try to hide it. We are intimate, but we've never had intercourse, and I know this is due to the embarrassment he feels, but again, it doesn't bother me at all. Anyway, I would love to connect with others that may have some advice on how I can talk to him and help him. I couldn't imagine my life without him, but this one thing has been causing friction lately.
    Thank you all <3

  • #2
    Welcome!
    I have similar experience to your boyfriend, I was completely closed off to the possibility of an intimate relationship right up to my early 30s. It's only after I had Mitrofanoff stoma surgery which got my bladder under reasonable control that I was prepared to be open about it. Luckily I met my girlfriend shortly afterwards.
    Reading between the lines it seems that he has not (yet) reached an acceptable solution for his bladder.
    You also need to consider that, given his L3-4 lesion, he might not be able to achieve or maintain a sufficient erection for "conventional" intercourse.
    Roger
    Sumus semper in excretum sed alta variat!

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    • #3
      Dodger67, thank you so much for your response. I'm not sure if he's considered the Mitrofanoff surgery, but I wish he would, just for his own happiness. As far as the intercourse part goes, I'm pretty sure you are right about that. Our intimacy is definitely not lacking, but it's always one-sided as he says that seeing me satisfied is all he needs...but that makes me sad because I don't want it to always just be about me.

      Is there still an adult section in this forum? I've seen it mentioned in several posts, but I can't find it.
      Thanks again for your help <3

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      • #4
        I've given you access to the Adults section.
        Please invite him to join us too.
        Roger
        Sumus semper in excretum sed alta variat!

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