What do I teach Lilly to say when people ask Q's?

[LillyPie]

What do I teach Lilly to say when people ask Q's? At the end of this school year Lilly PT told me to expect and be ready for teasing and to make sure that Lilly can answer other kids questions about her AFO's, the way she walks, wheelchair, diapers etc. I just REALLY dont know how to approach the situation with Lilly. Lilly already had a run in with a little girl that was staring at her, then asked her in a weird voice why she was wearing those things on her legs. Lilly, kinda confused said "because". The little brat wouldnt stop staring at her. Even while we walked away. I thought maybe the little girl thought the AFOs were pretty since they are purple with butterflies, but the little girl had a look on her face.... like she was looking at Lilly like she was different... *big sigh* I need to talk to Lilly about this but I dont know how, I dont want her to feel different... and I feel like if I have this talk with her she will feel different because of the talk, but if I dont I am settting her up for an emotional rollercoaster because of other bratty kids at school next year. What you all think????

[NerdaliciouS]

About diapers? Nobody should be asking about that... Dunno why a PT would say that.

I think you should tell her though. She's still young, you don't need to give her crazy terms or make it seem like she's freakishly different! :) You could always tell her that some people are mean and don't understand certain things. And she has to wear AFO's to help her walk like everyone else and wheelchair when she's really tired. (which... she already knows!) 'Cause... Really, that's all kids need to know, if other people ask I don't think they're going to expect huge medical terms! But I'd at least tell her things like that. Especially the thing about people not understanding everything.


And the girl... She better have been jealous! lol.

:happy065:

[LillyPie]

PT said that other kids are "aware" of things, especially with the possibility of her having accidents. Thats a big reason for the bowel program we are doing now, to decrease the amount of accidents especially during school. It'll be easier for her to keep it secret from others if she doesnt have them. She had accidents at school this year and there were some kids that made comments about the smell, although they didnt know who or why...thats what her teacher had said anyways. Before the we started the BP she would just poop anytime she exerted herself. Laughing, running, climbing...pretty much everything she did at school. Thankfuly now after we have started to manage it all, she only goes after the enemas. YAY!

I think the PT meant well, just wanted us to be ready and was really pushing me towards a BP. She was right about that, it has helped a lot.

[NerdaliciouS]

Oh, well, they can be aware, I guess. Especially if it's shown or there's an obvious lump under clothes. But she looks normal, (wow, I'm starting to sound mean!) but all the people I know who got made fun of for that, they were the ones that weren't really aware of it, y'know? They probably were, but they were either behind mentally or... Y'know?

But that makes tons of sense. Sorry for asking! Glad she's doing good with her bp though! Great news! :) I'm sure it's gonna be one of the smaller worries when everything gets going! Yayyyyy!

[LillyPie]

Ya, I am sure it will be a small worry later, since the BP is going well. Dont be sorry for asking about the diaper thing!! You are just as protective of Lilly and all the kids here as us moms... LOL... or at least it sounds like it sometimes, you are protective in a way moms can't be though, because you see what we do wrong too because you have been it their shoes. Thanks for that BTW. :) Thats why I love, love, love this place...
HEY...Can I live in here?? LOL J/K

[bcain]

What about," I have braces to help me walk, because of Spina Bifida". Believe me kids will notice a pull up or diaper if your pants and shirt separate and it shows. They will be cruel, if it's not explained properly. IF..they notice and IF they ask.. she could just say again I wear it to protect my clothes in case of an accident because I have Spina Bifida. If they ask about SB, she could say it's a birth defect I was born with. I've heard many kids saying to each other "That's for babies". Point out to her that others, adults who have problems or SB wear diapers too to protect their clothes.

I wonder if Lilly has asked why she stills wears diapers and other kids don't?
If she has what was the answer you gave her?....did she understand it or have more questions? Her peers are likely to accept the same honest answer too. If she's comfortable with her own body and how it works(my legs are weak), and can explain it to those she chooses to, it'll build confidence. You could tell her to keep it vague if the asking child is being rude about it, or makes her uncomfortable, walk away, ignore or change the subject. Explain that the child who picks on her, is usually unsure of themselves, and feel bigger by picking on those they can get away with it. Another reason is they may also be bullied by someone else and are trying the same on her.

Role playing may help too. Practise with her at home.Teach her some quick answers, or come back lines she can use for different questions.( Braces are a tool to help me walk.) I'm not sure if this is good advice, maybe others on here have some more experience. Younger kids are usually more accepting and matter of fact about things. My Sarah thinks everyone is like her at age 2. Hey mom wears a pad in her panties too. She has asked me where my scar is, while trying to find it on my back. I just tell her I don't have a scar there because I don't have SB.

[n3rdchik]

I second what bcain said.

Another thing is to give Lilly the freedom to tell people it is none of their business and end a conversation. At our house, we talk about friendly intent vs mean with regards to teasing and questions. "Why do you want to know?" is perfectly acceptable retort to anything she doesn't want to answer.

{{{{{hugs}}}}} school has to be a scary milestone for parents. It was with non-impacted kids.:signs120:

[smoop]

My friend who has an older child told me a funny story about when her son was younger-- he was rolling in his W/C through the grocery store when another boy walked by and said, "what's wrong with you?"... to which he replied, "Me? What's wrong with you?". I loved that!

My daughter is turning 5. She is very comfortable (and almost proud) to tell kids that she was born with SB. I let her do the explaining for the most part. She knows to explain that she wears braces & uses crutches to help her walk because her legs are a little weak. Thankfully she doesn't really deal with bowel accidents thanks to the cone enema we started last year. When she does have an accident it's usually at home. But that doesn't seem to bother her either.

What I've noticed is that kids who seemed a little freaked out by Ana's crutches and braces move completely past it once we explain things to them.

[angel]

This is just my two cents from what i learned when i was in school. As far as the diapers go i didn't want other people to know about it. So I hid it. My mom helped me when i was younger i had panties that would go over so if there was a seperation between my shirt and pants that is what they would see. I never wore dresses unless they were longer. I don't know why it was such a big deal to me but i always felt it was no one's business but mine. If someone asked I simply would tell them i don't ask them questions about stuff like that so don't ask me.
I also learned that unless someone gets an attitude with me first to try and understand that they don't know what they are looking at, espically little kids who have never seen crutches, wheelchairs, braces, etc. so the looks they give are more excusable to me. Usually when you just explain to them such as, I have spina bifida and i can't walk without my crutches, wheelchair, braces, etc. they understand a little more. I had so many little friends try to teach me how to walk, they just wanted to help they kept telling me what to do and not understanding why i couldn't. I would give it a shot and it would become obvious to them later but in a way it was also playing.
I know some adults (including some in my family) mistake that my crutches and my chair are some how a part of me. Well not true my crutches and my wheelchair and braces are tools, tools i use to get me from point a to point B. I think it is a healthy way to look at it as equipment will be replaced throughout life so looking at it as a part of myself puts to much emotional attatchment to it. When kids would come up and ask me what my crutches were (this started in pre K) I would tell them it is a stick wanna play with it. I would freely hand it to them (if i was sitting down) and once they got in in their little hands and saw it was just a stick it took all the scarry out of it for them and I never had another problem with it. My cousin who was 2 when he got curious about my wheelchair and crutches a few years ago looked a little frightned by them until i told him he could play with them. Within minutes he turned my wheelchair into a his lawnmower and my crutches into his leaf blowers and we never gave them a second thought. Now i know with braces that can't be done so i just answered questions about them.
I have always found that i never got a positive response by getting rude with someone who was genuinly curious. Now when kids (and this rarely happened)were being mean or making fun of me for it I was always the type of child who would just cut em down. I wasn't a big cryer, i tended to get more pissed off about it, and my friends never hesitated to take up for me.
This has spilled over into adult hood as well, I find just nicely explaining things and answering appropriate questions gets me a lot farther than getting defensive.

Angel

[Summer25]

Since the time I can remember I always told kids or people for that matter, "I was born with a hole in my back and it caused my legs not to work." For little ones, that pretty much ends the conversation and they start playing with my wheelchair...lol. Also, in elementary school I always did presentations each year. One year, the PT brought in a few wheelchairs. Another year, I brought my braces. They were also always taped. I never told anyone about the diapers and no one ever asked. So, I wouldn't worry about that. Now that I am an adult I will tell people how I cath, but as a child I never saw a reason to tell people my business. Even if they asked I just told them something like "mind your business." The presentations helped a lot though.

[LillyPie]

Presentations?? What would you talk about?? That seems like a good idea.

[Summer25]

Basically what spina bifida was. Of course it started out as a little talk in kindergarten to a full on presentation later on. It mostly revolved about what I used to get around. As we got older the talk about what sb really is got more involved. Not really sure how to explain it. I also don't remember much of them. I just remember the good parts with the wheelchairs and the braces. I would walk in the braces I had. Or let the kids use a wheelchair. A friend of mine who has hydro brought in a shunt to show once.

[misty]

A funny story my mom recently told me about when I was little...I don't remember any of it, but I think its cute...
A friend and I were at an amusement park riding all the rides and having a good time when apparently some boys started picking on me because of my braces. My friend left the line to the ride we were about to get on to go get my mom. So, my mom, as protective as she is starts marching up the ramp to the ride as fast as she can pushing little kids out of the way and when she reaches me, I look straight at her and put my little hand up in the air in "talk to the hand" fashion and say "Mom, stop. They're just little kids! They don't understand. I'm handling this!" Mom says I was about 8 years old. She turned around, marched back down the ramp and let me do my thing! Hahaha! Lilly will be okay if you teach her how to handle herself. Tell her that kids are curious, and to answer honestly if they're being genuine, but that it is never okay for someone to pick on her and ALWAYS okay to "handle this"!

[NerdaliciouS]

Oh there aren't really mistakes done! Everyone makes them, but things are different for everyone! But yes, most definitely. There's a sense of protective-mother-RAWRRRRRR with the little ones - especially with SB. Just because it makes me mad that teasing happens. I hated it... Everyone hates it. So gotta learn young to speak up for yourself! :D

Also... Misty... That's great! :D

[ainemc]

I know i didn't ask the question but those answers are really helpful, even for me as a mum, i find it hard to deal with questions and those answers are great so thanks :)

[sean]

Seems like the words don't matter much, it's all in the attitude, even with little kids.
I guess if they're feelling OK about themselves, it'll reflect back at them.
I guess if loved ones regularly top up that reassurance of, doing OK, all should be sweet.


Me...no kids.....please it's all too easy...LOL!

More power to you LillyPie........four girls...!

[angel]

Sean you nailed it, it is all about the attitude. If you are comfortable with your self and your situation in life then others will feel a lot more at ease around you. It is the same with kids, i never thought of myself as any different and rarely was ever treated any different by the other kids. When it did happen I just handled whatever situation came along. There is NOTHING wrong with us but we have to believe it ourselves if we don't how can we expect others to.

Angel

[LillyPie]

Lilly loves everyone and will befriend anyone. She is the most friendly little girl I know, and I'm not just saying that because shes my daughter. But, she has a toughness at the same time. She gets mad at anyone who messes with her sister or me.. it's kinda cute. This one time my husband and I were play wrestling and she got pissed of at him and punched him in the nuts! I see that shes a kid who will love anyone unconditionally but as soon as you mess with her your gonna get it. Siblings fight of course and she really isnt the kind of kid who sulks in the corner when her sisters are mean to her. She gets mean right back. I actually think its a good thing. I'm gonna teach her to be just like that with kids at school. She can be a pretty tuff cream puff!

I just wanted to add a kinda funny story, it'll make you all see her toughness:

This summer during softball season, a parent of another team got really nasty with me, she was cursing at me and yelling. We were in the street next to our cars. Lilly and all the kids heard every word the lady yelled because they were in our van and the lady was about 5 feet away. I get in the car and all the kids are laughing.... Confused I ask " why are you guys laughing?" They tell me through laughter that Lilly was screaming "MOOOOM, BEAT HER UP!! MOOOOM, BEAT HER UP!!" She was born to fight, and let me tell this girl puts up a fight all the time. She has always defied all the odds against her. For her MRI the nurse said she had never seen a child recover from sedation so quick. My lil Lilly Pie, shes my strong little fighter.

[sean]

Go Lilly!:dance2:

[Dodger67]

Take another look at the first post in this thread...

It looks to me like Lilly doesn't need advice, she can handle herself just fine.:sign0021:
Its Mommy that needs to catch up.

[LillyPie]

You ARE right. Shes not worried its me.

[chandrick]

Even though my Leah is only 3 months old I think about this also. It brings tears to my eyes thinking of someone picking in her. It would make me want to go to them and beat them with a bat!! Just kidding. But I was picked on for my weight when I was younger and I know how it feels. It sucks. But hopefully we can raise Leah to stand up for herself in those kinds of situations. Not sure how, new at this whole parenting thing but I'm sure we'll figure it out.

[misty]

Chandrick,
You say you were picked on for your weight. That should just show us that EVERYONE experiences some kind of bullying in their lifetime. It isn't unique to the disabled. People will find things to make fun of about anyone. If it wasn't SB I'm sure the kids would be picked on for something else. We were all picked on for something, and we all made it! Its going to be okay!

[chandrick]

U are right :) Thank You!!!!!!!

[mattywheels25]

When i was a kid i had a bit of an attitude and whenever i got the Qs like " so why are you in a chair, what happened to you?" i would give some stupid random answer like i was in an accident or my personal favourite, i farted really hard oneday and well my spine broke. i wasn't really into having to explain everything people all the time and having to defend myself against whatever they wanted to throw at me and so these random answers kind of threw them off a bit. Unfortunately there are always gonna be some kids that wanna mess with you but you just have to find your strength try to somehow get through whatever they wanna say. If she wants to answer Q's and deal with people then thats her choice but if she doesn't then she should just tell them she doesn't want to talk about it and that should be that.

[eng188]

Big thread, so I kind of "forceskimmed" through it. I'm great with people that ask me what my disability is. I like people being curious. But once that's done, I guess that's where the awkwardness begins, and it all depends on my mood how I'll react. I don't like when people then say something like "Awww, I'll bet it sucks. I'll bet you hate life.", or "Do you pray?" or maybe suggesting a certain type of medication.

But some days I'm really good at brushing all that stuff off, and other days I feel alienated. Why no normal conversation? Like "How about those Red Sox?" or "Nice weather today, huh?" or whatever.

I think each of our SB experiences is somewhat different. But we're all human.

[Lifeisgood]

But some days I'm really good at brushing all that stuff off, and other days I feel alienated. Why no normal conversation? Like "How about those Red Sox?" or "Nice weather today, huh?" or whatever.


LET'S GO RED SOX!!!!!

(Hey, I am a Bostonian, had to get that in). :sign0020:

For me, I do not get many questions because I am pretty ambulatory, but on my not so good days I get questions about my limp. Usually people think that I injured myself and for the most part I will say "No, I am okay, I have a messed up spine that makes me limp" or that I have SB. Usually people are surprised to learn that I have SB because I am ambulatory. I think that when people in the general population think of SB (if they even know about it) they automatically think that the diagnosis = wheelchair. So I can find that it can be a good segway into education at times.

[joybell322]

just yesterday, we were at the doctors office & a little boy was staring at lizzie's braces. he finally got the nerve up to ask her why she wears them. she told them she has spina bifida & they help her walk. they were immediate friends after that.

as hard as it is to handle when you're the mom, children are children after all. i've caught lizzie, now almost 8, staring at people with cerebral palsy. when children don't understand something, they stare & try to figure it out. we have found that the sooner we help someone understand, the quicker they move past it and realize what a charming kid lizzie is.

[nyd]

Sorry, I am actually a little confused with this thread.

If I comprehended correctly, some of you/your kid in wheelchairs plan to attend/attended mainstream schools?
This is new to me. I never knew that mainstream schools accept kids in wheelchairs. The norm as I have always known is to send them to a specialised boarding school where they would be studying with other kids having similar conditions/disabilities.

If you do find a private mainstream school that admits disabled students, is the premium hefty?

[Kari]

In the US, children with disabilities go to the same public schools with their peers. We have a law that states that public school districts are required to provide special education services in the least restrictive environment necessary (most often in the regluar classroom with the rest of the typically developing kids) from ages 3-21 if needed.

I was a general education teacher in both 2nd and 3rd grades, and had children with IEPs in my classroom every year. Their disabilities ranged from learning disabilities to autism to CP, to various physical or emotional disabilities. I collaborated with the special education teacher, and sometimes they were pulled out of the room for part of the day for some instruction, but they spent the majority of the day with me.


Zach will begin public preschool funded by the school district in a couple of weeks. He has an IEP with PT goals, but other than that, he'll do the regular preschool stuff! He can't wait to go!

[LisaJoy]

There are some private schools (i.e., not publically funded) in the US that focus on kids with disabilities, but it is usually kids with learning disabilities like dyslexia. The vast majority of kids in the US are educated in public schools, including kids with disabilities, and most are mainstreamed. However, there are exceptions. Nashville has a public school, the Susan Grey School, for children with severe disabilities who for various reasons simply cannot attend public schools (for example, kids that are ventilator dependent). There are also special programs within individual schools that provide separate "life skills" education for kids with severe intellectual disabilities (who are unable to learn at all in a normal setting). I have a friend whose 11 year old son has Downs. There's huge variation with Downs, but in his case, he is not verbal and not able to learn in a regular setting. So he attends a life skills school that is set up within a regular public middle school. They eat lunch and have recreation and other opportunities to interact with the other kids, but have a completely separate curriculum.

[nyd]

In the US, children with disabilities go to the same public schools with their peers. We have a law that states that public school districts are required to provide special education services in the least restrictive environment necessary (most often in the regluar classroom with the rest of the typically developing kids) from ages 3-21 if needed.

I was a general education teacher in both 2nd and 3rd grades, and had children with IEPs in my classroom every year. Their disabilities ranged from learning disabilities to autism to CP, to various physical or emotional disabilities. I collaborated with the special education teacher, and sometimes they were pulled out of the room for part of the day for some instruction, but they spent the majority of the day with me.


Zach will begin public preschool funded by the school district in a couple of weeks. He has an IEP with PT goals, but other than that, he'll do the regular preschool stuff! He can't wait to go!

Thanks for the explanation. The educational system in usa seems quite unique to me. While I can imagine someone in a wheelchair being carried up and down the stairs everyday, I have a hard time imagining having students with learning disabilities in mainstream classrooms. In grades 2-3, we were expected to sit still all day listening to lectures and do around 15 hours of homework+memorising a week. Tests and exams account for the bulk of a student's marks. I can only imagine the mainstream school system to be very restrictive to those with learning disabilities.

All the best to Zach! :) Preschool days were my best school days!

There are some private schools (i.e., not publically funded) in the US that focus on kids with disabilities, but it is usually kids with learning disabilities like dyslexia. The vast majority of kids in the US are educated in public schools, including kids with disabilities, and most are mainstreamed. However, there are exceptions. Nashville has a public school, the Susan Grey School, for children with severe disabilities who for various reasons simply cannot attend public schools (for example, kids that are ventilator dependent). There are also special programs within individual schools that provide separate "life skills" education for kids with severe intellectual disabilities (who are unable to learn at all in a normal setting). I have a friend whose 11 year old son has Downs. There's huge variation with Downs, but in his case, he is not verbal and not able to learn in a regular setting. So he attends a life skills school that is set up within a regular public middle school. They eat lunch and have recreation and other opportunities to interact with the other kids, but have a completely separate curriculum.

Thank you, your wealth of knowledge about the school system amazes me :)
I didn't know that those with Downs also go to school. One of my classmates had a brother with Downs (verbal though) who was never sent to school as her parents felt that it wasn't worth the investment. Sadly they were right as he passed away in his teens.


To the original poster: how about your daughter saying that she got injured in a car accident and was too young to remember the details. Most kids would not make fun of someone who got injured in an accident.

[bcain]

That was funny! I could see my kids getting a kick out of that one. And then maybe a look of concern wondering if it could really happen to them too!

[dahliafaolan]

Actually, in the US, schools are required to be set up so that a child in a wheelchair shouldn't need to be carried up and down stairs. There should be an elevator. And yes, the public school system can be very restrictive to children with learning disabilities but they often have things called Individual Education Plans which provide children with special needs the accommodations they need for them to do their school work to the best of their ability. And really, you'd be surprised how many "normal" children have learning disabilities. I think since I was mainstreamed, there was always at least one other kid in my class that had an IEP, but most years, I was the only kid with a physical disability.

[sbmama]

When I was in elementary school, there was a boy who was blind who was in my classroom most years. He had some special accomadations, but he was mainstreamed as much as possible. He had an aide, a Braille typewriter, and most of our classroom activities were things that he could do with slight adaptations. He walked with a cane. He was a really, really nice kid, and I don't remember anyone ever teasing him in elementary school. His disability was always treated very matter of factly.

[n3rdchik]

LOL - "I farted and broke my spine..." That is the awesome....

My Brother-in-law has a huge pronounced scar on his forehead/face - the result of 60-something stitches as a toddler. For *years* I never got the straight answer, because he and his brother (my husband) have a game to never tell the reason. So every question is met by a story - "Don't ever get Steve mad, he goes straight to the axe." "When learning to juggle, don't start with the machetes." The Tiger at the zoo escaped." "Baseball bat + older brother = this".

For a while, I thought they were crazy, but then I understood - EVERYONE asks about the scar. If it is going to define you, then have fun with it.

[LillyPie]

When my husband was 5 he developed a large baseball sized cyst in his neck, the surgery to remove it left him with a pretty large hole on his neck, he tells people crazy stories about how he got it too! I know the truth, but even our kids dont get a straight answer... LOL...

[nyd]

Actually, in the US, schools are required to be set up so that a child in a wheelchair shouldn't need to be carried up and down stairs. There should be an elevator. And yes, the public school system can be very restrictive to children with learning disabilities but they often have things called Individual Education Plans which provide children with special needs the accommodations they need for them to do their school work to the best of their ability. And really, you'd be surprised how many "normal" children have learning disabilities. I think since I was mainstreamed, there was always at least one other kid in my class that had an IEP, but most years, I was the only kid with a physical disability.

Elevators?! wow!
I used to have empty hopes about my school installing escalators some day. Of course that never happened. When I attended grade 1 in 1990-91, some of the rotary phones in the school offices haven't been replaced. All the squatting pans didn't have a flushing system (we had to flush manually by taking a pail of water and dump the water into the toilet). So an elevator in a primary school has never crossed my mind. I suppose you are younger than I am (I was born in early '85) and have experienced schools I have never even heard about.

I feel old and out of date reading this thread :sign0007:

[LisaJoy]

Actually, physical accessibility and IEPs have been required by law in public schools in the US since 1975, with passage of the Education for All Handicapped Children Act, as well as Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Enforcement was very slow coming about though -- basically enforcement could only be achieved through litigation, so it took many years of law suits and even some Supreme Ct cases to get most school systems at least somewhat in compliance (schools in the US are controlled at the level of local districts, but are subject to federal law). It took a 1984 Supreme Court case, for example, to guarantee access to regular schools and classrooms for children who require catheterization. The pace of compliance picked up after 1990 with passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act, but enforcement is still by law suit, and local school systems often try to get by with doing less than they are required to do (mostly to save money).

[Gymp]

Elevators?! wow!
I used to have empty hopes about my school installing escalators some day. Of course that never happened. When I attended grade 1 in 1990-91, some of the rotary phones in the school offices haven't been replaced. All the squatting pans didn't have a flushing system (we had to flush manually by taking a pail of water and dump the water into the toilet). So an elevator in a primary school has never crossed my mind. I suppose you are younger than I am (I was born in early '85) and have experienced schools I have never even heard about.

I feel old and out of date reading this thread :sign0007:

There were 2 elevators in one of the high schools I went to,it had 3 floors.Elevators only to be used by school staff and kids in wheelchairs.The school was built in 1971 or so,I went there in about 1973.
Gymp

[dahliafaolan]

Elevators?! wow!
I used to have empty hopes about my school installing escalators some day. Of course that never happened. When I attended grade 1 in 1990-91, some of the rotary phones in the school offices haven't been replaced. All the squatting pans didn't have a flushing system (we had to flush manually by taking a pail of water and dump the water into the toilet). So an elevator in a primary school has never crossed my mind. I suppose you are younger than I am (I was born in early '85) and have experienced schools I have never even heard about.

I feel old and out of date reading this thread :sign0007:I was born in mid 85. I was just lucky enough to have a mom who would bitch at the school board system until they did what they were supposed to do! lol

[Summer25]

I was born in Sept of 83 and was lucky just like Dahlia...lol. I had an elevator all to myself in high school, well except for the teachers that taught in that one building which weren't many. I also had my own bathroom. It was locked and everything. I always say I would say I was lucky in high school because I was the only one with a physical disability in the school. I was treated and expected to do everything everyone else did.

[NerdaliciouS]

I remember getting to high school and there was an elevator. Apparently there was another girl with SB, in a wheelchair. I saw her, just didn't ever meet her or anything, lol. None of my other schools had elevators, even when they had more than one floor.

I got given a key, I think I used it once. I just used the stairs, lol. I didn't wanna seem weird, and plus it smelled weird and made it hard to breathe.

[chandrick]

Love the explanation of "I farted really hard and it broke my spine" LOL!!!! I will have to remember that one!:sign0020:

[petiteblond]

Fortunately my SB isn't bad enough for people to notice.

In my experience, kids in my classes don't ask Q's about why those in Special Ed behave/look different.

The naughty ones would impersonate how kids with Down Syndrome talk, imitate how kids with cerebral palsy walk and talk. They came up with their own reasons as to why kids had disabilities. The most popular reason was the mom kept being active with different men while pregnant.

[Cookebeth]

http://www.myspinabifidabook.org/

When Carrie went into preschool I felt like I had to talk to her about it and this book I found made it easier to at least bring the subject up.
I think for the most part kids, just like adults and in all areas of prejudice, are mean when they don't know because they are afraid, of what it is, whats involved and what to do or say about it.
I like when people come right out and ask. we had a little girl at the playground stare and follow us around, then she started pointing and yelling to her ignorant father (who should have taken care of the situation but he didn't) 'hey dad look that little girl is handicapped, i never saw one so little." my husband was infuriated but I realized that no one took the time to explain to her that she shouldnt do that or what the issue was. So I just told her she is just a little girl who likes to play just like you and she wears braces and uses a walker because her legs are weak and they help her walk.
I actually felt more bad for her for acting that way because she was obviously ignored by her parents.

[LillyPie]

On the first day of kindergarten this year the school nurse (who was born with a paralized vocal cord) came into the class and had a talk with the students about being friends with everyone. She told them that she was born without a voice and that people are all born different from each other, and that someone who is a really good friend treats everyone the same. She showed pictures of kids in wheelchairs, kids with seeing glasses, some with AFO's. She talked about Lillys chair and her AFO's, and told them she was also born that way. I think it went well, there is no reason for any kids to ask questions (they may still) but they know "why". Lilly is so outgoing and personable that she can make friends with anyone. In my first post I was so worried, but this worry seems so small compared to other things in life right now. Proof that everything always works out.

Jenn