School Issue

[angel]

My son is 13 and in the 7th grade. Last year in the 6th grade school for him was a nightmare. He went from two classrooms with all this needed things (text book, notebook, pencils, etc.) already there and waiting for him. In 6th grade he got his first locker and that is when things started going downhill quick. He couldn't find anything, he lost his homework before he could turn it in. He just seemed lost in the shuffle of things. Well to make a long and painfull story short we worked together and he passed by the skin of his teeth.
Now in the 7th grade, he is doing MUCH better but he still isn't where he needs to be. He is passing most of his classes. Not with the A's and B's he had in elementary school. He struggled in math last year and this year however when we put the system we now have in place at home he pulled up his math grade 30 points from last grading period to this most recent one. I know he can do it he has already proven that. I don't think his problem is any silent learning disability. I think it is an orginization problem. He is really trying this year and I am so proud of him for that and it is showing. I just wonder how we can get him over the hump he is stuck on to get him the rest of the way up.
There is a woman at school (her offical title i am unsure of) who meets with him weekly to see how he has been doing for the week. She has a paper for him to get signed by his teachers everytime he turns in his homework. The first two weeks he was suscessful. The next week we had an incident at the house where a friend of ours, who lives next door, had a medical emergancy and colapsed on our door step. He came home and saw the ambulance and freaked out. It was a rough week with going back and forth to the hospital to check on him, and visit. I understood when he didn't get all his signatures from his teachers because he had a lot on his mind (this person is more like a family member we all feel that way about him). This week the same thing and now that our friend is out of the hospital and he knows that he is going to be ok he still seems out of sync.
I talked to the lady at school and she said something about seeing what help he would qualify for through the school to help with orginization skills. This was also offered last year but the soloution offered (by an SB orginization not the school) was an aid to go with him all day long and basically do everything for him so he would pass. I think this is totally counter productive! I dont' want anyone doing it for him he has to do this own his own. If they can show him ways that will help him I will agree to that. I don't think that is unreasonable. I know he can do it, I know if someone does it for him then he will never learn. The majority of his life will be after school and it is absolutly necessary that he learn to develop these skills some way. What am I doing wrong? We have made lists, I have hovered, none of it is working. I know part of it is typical teenage behavior, but that aside I feel that there is something I am not doing.
What has worked the best is the system we have now. It is on a weekly basis. Every friday I check his grades online. It is a detailed grade book that shows each assignment, weather or not he turned it in, his test grades, and classroom points earned. Each subject is attatched to something he wants. Math is attatched to his guitar, social studies is attatched to his i pod, english is attatched to the tv etc..... If he does his homework and hands it in and also passes whatever tests and gets the majority of his classroom points he gets whatever is attatched to that subject till the next friday. We have been most successful with that. Anyone else got a better idea. I am all out of em!

Sorry that was so long.

Angel

[jellolegs23]

Hi,

I have SB at the L4-L5 level and shunted Hydrocephalus. I am 28 years old and I just graduated with honors with my bachelors degree in Social Work. I had a similar problem when I was in school.

What really helped me was to buy a full sized calendar so you could view the whole month instead of viewing a week by week schedule. I collected my syllabi from each class and wrote down on my calendar when all of my homework assignments, tests, projects, etc. were due. That way I knew what was coming up ahead of time. I could also write down on my calendar how far in advance I should start a project or homework assignment so I could be right on schedule with the due date and how long it would take to complete the task.
It is also VERY important to keep this calendar in the same place all the time in PLAIN SIGHT. If the calendar is out of sight then it is completely forgotten about. I hope this helps. :)

[LisaJoy]

Angel,

You are right; part of the problem is that age 13 and 7th grade are pretty much a living nightmare (at least that's the way I remember them).

Sounds to me like you are doing everything you can to help him. You are a terrific mom! I have always thought so. So much common sense, which is in short supply these days. You are totally right about the full-time aide being major overkill and counter productive. This is part of what a 13-yr-old has to learn.

That being said, I wonder if a private "organization" tutor might help. Maybe he would respond better to someone just because it isn't his mom. Or perhaps something like Sylvan Learning Centers? You know, the private tutoring company. That is, if money is not too much of an issue. Organization and study skills have to be learned, just like math & science.

Lisa

[dahliafaolan]

Oh I remember that horrible year. It was around that time that we started with block scheduling. We alternated classes every other day. Four classes one day, four classes the other. It was awful. For the first few weeks, I couldn't keep it all straight. Then my mom came up with the idea of different colored binders for the different days, green for one day of classes and yellow for the other day. Our school also offered this little agenda thing to help us keep track of our homework assignments. Every little thing went into that agenda, from school work to personal things. And each homework assignment was checked off as it was done. We also had a rule that everyday when I came home, I had to do that day's homework before I could do anything. Only after I finished my homework could I watch tv, play outside, whatever. We also invested in those colored plastic subject dividers so that my binders could be divided by subject in order of my day's classes. The most recent hand-outs would go to the front of the divider and the least recent would go to the back of the divider. I even knew some kids that went as far as to have two separate schoolbags, one for each of the days.

If he has a locker, you might want to put up a checklist in his locker of what he needs to bring home everyday.

[angel]

LisaJoy,

I thought Sylvan was more of a tutor I didn't even think about having a tutor to teach him how to organize better. That is a great idea AND we happen to have one 25 miles away. I am definatly going to check into that! THANK YOU!

Angel